Radpoppy

 I learnt everything about that man, I did. I learnt how his face curls to a smile, and how he whines about having not shaved, but won't do much about it. How his voice sounds when his eyes first open in the afternoon, and how it drifts into a silence of breath and movement when his eyes close. And how he likes to drown his coffee with milk and anything else sweet. And how much he drinks of it. How he likes to roll his own tobacco, but will settle for store bought cig's if he's got no choice. I loved him for every last bit of those mannerisms. But he loved me as a form of charity. Not in a way of loving one who Who's broken, It's like h

I've devoted this month towards sorrow again but the pain in my heart isn't meant to show on my skin but it does time and time again I've left myself with nasty scars on my thighs and gashes on my wrists but no one could see this month that i've devoted to you and only you I've been the blind mans buff and the plaster for a wound that would never heal

Last night I dreamt of you. My mind can't Understand how to Break off ties That I have now. So it's trying It's hardest To piece what's broken back together again. Whether it's meaningful. Or something that's small, In size and matter. You were still In my dreams. Cluttering it with Your presence. If I can't escape to this place that's been painted as euphoric fields of Happy and painless Swept along the shore Where else am I supposed To hide when nothing Goes right for me Anymore?

all I heard was static and small mounts of laughter and I could see smiles though they weren't towards me nor was it a mirror I knew I'd been misplaced in this earth but it wasn't as simple as feeling left out or ignored and while those are components of this I feel like this is just a nightmare yet I awake to it nervous ticks an array of self made remedies to keep grounded while surrounded by my own race and it shakes me to my bones that I feel so terribly misunderstood disenfranchised and fruitless embraced by those who are of my own DNA

I'm drowning. But the surface is right there; No matter what I can't swim, Gravity always wins and my heart Is sinking.

there is a difference between living and existing

You're like nicotine The less I have of you The more I'd like of you But when I have the most I could possibly have I want more Until I'll breathe in Every last word you Say and every last breath You exhale until my lungs Are absolutely polluted With your existence So heavily I grow ill of cancer

Everything's so plastic. The world's cluttered with it, Worse enough, Once it's gone You could just replace it because that's how disposable It's gotten to be. It bothers me. And I'll cry, We all do. In the end. The good die, and so do the bad. But the weak had never began; So endlessly they exist.

It was like his words were so cold, it made everything go numb. Everyone, too. There's a way about how his lips form to his words, not by choice but by force. Such assertive ways of speaking and overbearing tones always rung through my ears as if he'd been yelling in my face when really, he could've been a mile away but his voice. I'd hear it over an orchestra. Just as much as he knew this; he'd never change himself for the worse to see if I'd stay or for the better to see if I'd grow comfortable. He just left you wondering. As if he didn't want anyone to like or love him- but it was ever so easy to in the end. " Don't let your mouth get your

Maybe there's something missing. It could be the rope that'll pull you back up from the depth that you're About to lose yourself in. Whether it be drugs or pills that weren't meant to addict you to it's sleep inducing ways Or it's way that it could make you into Someone you wished you were. But you aren't. Sometimes you need to let go of the last thing that's keeping you afloat Just so breathing isn't taken for granted Or maybe you need to full your lungs With some water just so you can stay Grounded when you lose your head. In the end you just need to learn To find something else to lose yourself in. Something that tastes better than sadnes